The Test of Tampons
by thtzwhatuthink
Summary: Oh yes fellow ladies and half cat ladies, yet again Maka has synchronized with mother nature and tuned in for another week of Bloody Hell. Featuring Blackstar getting a very special part of his body pulverized with a newly learned way to swing a book! (Caution this story is rated M for my use of colorful Language and Sarcasm. One-Shot, extra fluffy.)


Oh why now?

Why ever?

Oh yes fellow ladies and half cat ladies, yet again Maka has synchronized with mother nature and tuned in for another week of Bloody Hell. Featuring Blackstar getting his nuts pulverized with a newly learned way to swing a book! Today was not the day, nor the week was not the week that she could deal with any god, simply for the fact that according to her studies in theology classes, gods have damned the monthly gift upon her and every other female being alive.

Blackstar and Kidd were essentially the only ones at risk of Maka's latest book technique advances. However Kidd actually having some common sense, it was really only Blackstar who was going to have a problematic reproductive system in the future. Now that wasn't necessarily shown as her eyes viciously glared at every one that had a nutsack within the premises, she was all bitch and no bite unless you were a Blackstar, kishin egg, or a redheaded death scythe in truth.

The girls acted completely casual, even Tsubaki not worried and pretty chill while sitting on the edge park fountain next to the other girls. They could _sense _her cycle; the woman's intuition was a key skill that a select few males could ever grasp. Although any guy who lived close quarters with a girl understood the most vital things unique to only the female(s) they live with.

As for Soul, he could practically hear her mind screaming about her uterus.

Even if he couldn't hear that, the Little Demon would always randomly spazz out and go, "STOCK UP ON CAKE, ICECREAM, AND PROTECT OUR NUTS THE FEMALE DEMON IS BACK FOR ANOTHER VISIT." at one month intervals. Soul eventually got the idea that the little pimple in his mind was also in Maka's sometimes, but Maka having her own problems probably had her own little demon she had to deal with. He also assumed whenever her uterus went suicidal, so did the demon probably going insane with Maka to join in on the chaos.

Maka all of a sudden calmed and returned to a normal non-testicle-murderous state, smiling happily and immediately picking up the group conversation about rabbits (yes yes, a fascinating topic) before Blackstar's shitty pick up line that had something to do about, "Humping like bunnies." Maka wasn't sure who he directed it at, but she didn't **want **to know and for safe measure took a _Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows_ to his gonads.

Yep, she was so on her period.

Soul knew her first day was the worst, so when they got back home from hanging out, it wasn't a surprise to watch her curl up on the floor in the hallway after a snack and a visit to the bathroom.

"Maka are you okay?"

"Just fucking dandy. Gotta killer stomach ache."

She groans after her statement from pain and he takes pity. He knew it was cramps, but she wasn't bitching about her womanliness; she never really bitched to him. Maybe a complaint or two, but Maka understood the beauty a lack of detailed descriptions to a guy could have for specific things. Even if she **did **bitch he wouldn't mind—not in the slightest. He loved listening to her voice, or any noise that came from her in general. To a closely trusted friend he would probably admit he was _slightly _(absolutely and completely) infatuated with his meister. Bitching meant a conversation could happen with her doing most of the talk; him only having to agree and occasionally ask questions. Plus bitching meant venting and it was always interesting what Maka could accidently slip out when she vented.

One example being that she thought Soul had really good taste in clothing and looked extremely hot in his favorite suit.

He was always thinking of excuses to wear it ever since, including right about now.

He's stumbles out of his thoughts however as she groans again; him realizing that he's just awkwardly looming over his pained best friend. She stumbles out of her thoughts as she no longer feels carpet against half her body but instead a toned chest and lithe warm arms wrapped around her like a ring. She felt each muscle flex again only for the soft suede cushions of the couch to make contact with her bare arms.

Did Soul just pull an act of kindness?

Did he just lift her awkward potato-armadillo form from the floor to across the apartment and set—rather slowly and gingerly—onto the living room couch?

She unrolled herself to find much to her surprise that her assumption was indeed true. She even caught an expression of genuine worry looking down at her before he noticed eye contact and a small cheesy grin was plastered to his face in a split second. _'His cool defense was down for a split second, he actually cared, holy shit.' _

Maka thought, then was absolutely surprised yet again when she thought he was just doing his laundry—only for the sound of the dryer to stop momentarily and fresh, warm blankets were draped over her curled up body.

Did he seriously just warm up blankets in the dryer for her?

She didn't even know _he_ _knew_ he could perform such an act of kindness.

Oh, but he knew a lot of things he could do to comfort an ovulating female. He was raised in a rich family, one that operated on being polite and chivalrous. He kept the fact that he was raised to be a chivalrous bastard to himself quite well. However if a woman was in pain from her cycle, especially a close friend, he would let his old manners kick in.

The faces she was giving him were amusing to watch as well.

Surprised from when he moved her to the couch.

Shocked with him warming up blankets for her.

Stunned when he brought her a book from another room without her asking.

He couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"Comfy now?"

"Yes extremely, also with extremely confused-did someone kidnap my Soul?"

There was an interesting use of a possessive word there, which was certainly caught behind his pokerface.

"Nope I'm right here. What makes you say that Tiny-Tits?"

She almost let out a sigh of relief from the embarrassing nickname. It was really Soul, just doing something unusual.

"You're being nice."

"Jeez, am I really that much of an asshole on average? Your stomach hurts, and maybe much to your dismay, I thought the couch was more comfy than the hallway floor."

"Explain the warmed blankets and books?"

"Eh, I'm in a good mood after seeing Blackstar with blue balls."

It was true partially, however he didn't give two shits about Blackstar nor any painful revenge for whatever reason on him. It did seem to convince her, and she smirks telling a warning that Soul wasn't protected from the attack either, so he better watch his words as well. He whips his hands up in the air like a criminal caught, before plopping down on to the couch mindlessly browsing the channels on tv.

She enjoyed the blankets, and probably unbeknownst to him he grabbed her favorite book. Her cramps were gone in an hour or two tops, but that also wasn't the only thing gone.

She's now leaning on the bathroom sink, staring into the box with only **one **remaining tampon. Even her back up supplies were neglected and as of the moment nonexistent. She completely forgot she was running low. Not to mention she couldn't sneak out on his motorcycle, after the time someone almost tried to steal it he nearly never takes the key off his neck.

So she has to ask him.

She had to ask her male counterpart to get on his manly ass motorcycle, in his manly ass leather jacket, walk into a convenience store, and buy glorious pink-packaging that had the words, 'Tampon', 'Size: Super', and 'Leak Protection' in big letters on it. **Well shit.** Even if she had the nuts, no scratch that _**boobs **_to ask, he would gain a look of disgust and over dramatically reject.

She _could _just live in the bathroom for the next six days._ 'No that's just ridiculous.' _The little voice in the back of her head, (which was currently sporting a pair of horns) spoke. The same voice eventually making her now currently stand in front of Soul; blushing furiously and looking anywhere but him.

"Yes Maka?"

"Hey Soul um... Would you mind going to the store for me real quick and... getting me something?"

"What'cha need?"

Her voice dropped to barely audible, hand clasped together and thumbs fiddling only to stutter out,

"T-t-tampons..."

She looks honestly too adorable in that moment, looking like an innocent pin up doll before his male brain focused and processed her words. A light dash of blush and a warm smile crosses his features,

"No problem, sure thing Sweets."

He had to bite his lip to hide his laugh at her priceless face, eyes flashing to meet his. The nickname, the fact that he even happily agreed to it—what the hell was going on? Honestly she looked around the apartment searching for cameras, maybe she was being Punk'd. She did eventually realize a moment later from his kind smile, that Soul was a very understanding guy.

He was literally willing to do whatever it took to make sure his meister was well.

Honestly in his weapon classes he was only taught to protect his meister with his life when in battle. This did not include care for them and their womanly necessities at all. He knew she assumed his acts of kindness were from his classes, if she ever asked they were his excuse—but not at all the reason.

He seriously just cared for her greatly, because she meant the world to him.

This was what drove him forward as he kicks the stand on his wheels and enters the convenience store in the moonlight. Strolling down the aisle with a basket in hand he smoothly passes by the females his age and maturer, his attractive appearance turning the heads of the young. The older wondering why the hell was he in the most feminine aisle. He felt their stares burning into his body, but he did nothing but gain slight color in his cheeks. Not looking to make eye contact. He never knew so many did night shopping, he thought he was going to be lucky enough not to have anyone in the aisle.

He wasn't lucky enough.

As he stands between two mothers contemplating products of which Mickey Mouse Bubble Gum tooth paste tastes better for their kids, he murmurs, "Alright, she asked to get her tampons... Hm.. I'll just grab the most expensive ones here.." He walks over and grabs the black packaging of a box, "Kay... Annnndd I should probably grab her ice cream and her favorite author's new book or some other nice crap too..." Him completely unaware of the giggles and awe's coming from the nearby women. He talked to himself too loudly sometimes. He did catch the murmuring of how he's being, "Such a sweet boyfriend."

He could help but smile and blush more at the statement when he's out of view. Then making his way over to the frozen section he grabs a thing of Cookie-Dough ice cream, eventually picking up a book part of the _Gallagher Girls _series too. He glances around the store, and buys a few extra things such as cookies and _Gameinformer _magazines before rounding the female aisle again, grabbing an extra box or two of tampons for safe measure. Now catching the awe's, and a couple of extremely wierded out stares of a new batch of women before hitting the registers. The dude behind the register looked to be about twenty-seven. From his eyes carefully identifying each item as it passed over the scanner Soul could tell the guy was judging him from what he was buying. He could almost look confused per say, before he tossed the tampons over the scanner. Something clicked and he smirked speaking,

"Ahhh, _**girlfriend**_ eh?"

That was when he looked up and met white hair with red eyes.

"I wish, but meister instead."

"Wai—aren't you the latest death scythe and personal weapon of Shingami-sama?"

Soul flashes a grin of pointed teeth for agreement.

"I understand man; Maka's seems like a woman with a nice ass and good intelligence. You've already got her though if she's asking you to buy this stuff."

He nods chuckling for the last part; she did have a lovely toned ass that sat on his shaft when they flew. Speaking of her sitting on his shaf—_'Wait what does he mean by I've already got her?'_ Soul shoots a questioning gaze over to the cashier, and he responds,

"I know a good chunk of info from what people buy dude, trust me, she's got a romantic interest and that will stand in stone when you give this stuff to her. You're passing the **relationship test of Tampons** as we speak."

Soul had no idea what that meant, nodding in understand like he had a clue before all the items rung up, quickly paying and giving thanks to the dude before returning home.

Maka heard the front door creak open, and like on cue her face returns to a blushing mess and she goes back into a shy embarrassed state as he walks in. Instead of just one expected bag however he held **two**. What on earth did he buy? She was beginning to regret asking him to go; he probably didn't even remember what he went for in the first place and—

"Oh my god is that the new book from—"

Maka then took in the sight before her. The new book, fancy ass tampons, ice cream, and cookies. He tossed the plastic bags away while casually commenting, "I got what you needed, and I thought a few things extra might comfort your—" He pulls finger air quotations, "Stomach ache." She couldn't help but stare at him, him noticing before pulling a big good natured grin at her. Did she see a light blush on his cheeks?

"Soul when did you become so... Chivalrous?"

He walks past her casually and paws at a pigtail making it swing as he makes his way to his room to change. She assumed he didn't hear her and gathered the toiletries, moving them to the bathroom before changing into night clothes herself. Not in a mood to care and too focused on this interesting new side of Soul, she just digs through the dirty hamper for an oversized shirt. It didn't matter if it was clean or not. If it wasn't her uniform likely chance it was clean, because they were just too damn lazy to do anything besides throw regular clothes on the floor that eventually make it to the hamper. Finding a ridiculously good smelling shirt she grabs that and quickly pulls it over her head, before making her way to the kitchen.

Of course she didn't notice that the oversized shirt she was wearing was Soul's.

She gathered up her presents and moved to the living room, only to be met with Soul staring at her. Stuffing a cookie in her mouth rather cutely Maka questions,

"What is there something on my face?"

"Nope... but my shirt looks great on you."

It suddenly downed on her why she liked the shirt so much; it was Soul's, with Soul's delicious cologne drowned in it. At once blushes spread and or ate heightened across both of their faces; her for having such attraction to him that she unconsciously picks out his things—and him for well, mentioning the fact without thought. She looks off to the side a small smile on her face, as she says thanks. _'When did she become so shingami damned cute? More than usual?' _

Since when did both of them blush so much at each other?

This crossed both of their minds almost at the same time, and neither could figure out why. Except only Soul had an idea from the Cashier-Product-Prophecy guy. So trusting the dude's words, he was willing to test this out. The awkward air eventually fades and she plops down on the couch right beside him, beginning to munch on her gifts and indulge in her new book.

She was perfectly happy and content honestly, this really had really lightened her mood from bloody hell. Her book was even fucktastic. There was only one thing that was bothering her, she was _**freezing**_. The blankets were cold and she really didn't feel like cold blankets could warm her up, not the same way after she felt heated ones. Looking over to him snuggled up in his own favorite blanket she asks,

"Hey Soul would it be too much to ask if you could heat up a few blankets again please?"

"Meh, but I'm comfy and lazyyyy now."

She couldn't argue; he has done so much for her today already. However she still had a crestfallen look and the apartment was indeed frigid. That was also when he began to put the Cashier's words to the test; pulling her over by the shoulder and hip for their thighs to touch, and then moving her over again to be completely on his lap. She hadn't in the slightest thought he would offer an alternative, let alone _this_. It didn't stop there as he took his favorite blanket (that he was very territorial about) pulled it off his chest and wrapped it around her.

It was large enough to stretch back around to his shoulders if she molded to his body—and with a tug from the blanket that's exactly what she did by his will. As her back met a hot carved chest she realized that he was _shirtless_. His hot breathe all of a sudden on her neck, and his defined arms wrapping around her waist. He watched with a smile as a blush crept down her neck; him murmuring sensuously as possible,

"Jeez you **are **freezing. Good thing I can warm you up, hmm?"

She nodded fast. This was becoming _far _too amusing for him. She was perfect the way she reacted to everything. When he rests his head on her shoulder she practically lets out a squeak; he chuckles watching her get all flustered with the close contact.

"You're just too cute sometimes."

"Wha... N-no I-I'm not..."

"But your st-st-stuttering and even your neck and ears are turning a cute shade of pink."

He cooed in her ear, before nuzzling his head into the nape of her neck. This bastard, did he know she liked him? His teases were too daunting. As she thought this though he settled leaning back after grabbing the remote, no longer speaking a word. He only smiled when she leaned back against him and got comfortable. By the generous amount heat his body produced she was warm in no time, absolutely comfy in his arms.

She never wanted to leave this position, even if she had to at intervals every few hours or so to tend to her suicidal uterus. Everytime she came back he would be slouched comfortably on the couch, and would open his arms each time, and each time she would climb right back into them. He got to the point where he could grab either her hips or waist and reposition her or move her close. Letting out a sigh of happy contentment occasionally into her neck. She was completely well aware that he wasn't even watching tv; **he was cuddling with her**. He would smile like an idiot when she got settled in, and after her third trip it wasn't long before he heard soft snoring and sleepy sniffles. She had seemed to have fallen asleep on him, and knowing how much of a deep sleeper she was he finally let his own tired face show. He cradled her like a teddybear before dozing off.

The last thing remembered before falling off into a deep sleep was her hand somehow finding his—and their hands unconsciously entwining together.

He only woke in the morning when she stirred; him pleased when she only repositioned herself in his arms, her not noticing or not wanting to let go of his hand. She accidently elbows in the ribcage while moving around, "Nymph-ow.. Mornin' to you too Maka." Emerald eyes look up sleepily from his chest and murmur a soft apology.

He without thought leans his head against hers—fully absorbing the wonderful feeling of waking up to her pretty little face even if it meant an elbow to the rib.

She without thought leans her lips gently on his—fully absorbing the new sensations and the smoothness of his lips even if it meant realizing her actions a bit too late to stop herself.

Her face flushed and she pulled back carefully but with speed, stuttering out an apology before he laughs warmly (or was he purring pleasurably? She wasn't sure.) Before he leads her face very close to his by a finger under her chin, and _**kisses her**_. Their lips moving as one at the soft gentle contact, his touch leaving tingly sensations with the lightest grasp, and lightest touch. She couldn't think as he pulled her closer, capturing more of her lips. He couldn't think from the second her lips met his. She thought he would be disgusted, but now shifting in his lap to be face to face, her hands resting on his chest,

She felt his heartbeat racing just like hers.

He passed the test of Tampons.

* * *

**Alllllllllllllllright :D I liked how this came out, hopefully not too shabby for ya. I really like taking unusual (usually awkward) topics and seeing what I can come up with. I also like to relate and or branch off from other stories of mine, whether it'd be from a phrase, idea, or a mentioned memory. **

**So I tried, please feel free to leave a quick review? :3 Phanks, -Thtzwhatuthink **


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